so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
