He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
