hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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