Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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