I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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