i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
We need to get me chipped asap
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
