The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
