Why are handjobs necessary in class?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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