Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
