the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
where are you?
Hypothermia
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
