You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
