Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We need a shit load of segways right now
She made me pour olive oil on her.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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