you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
