nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
