I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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