Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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