she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
