I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you traded sex for a burrito?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
