TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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