Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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