are you so shy because you have an std?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
