Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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