I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
