with your own penis?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
