If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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