she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize