Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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