I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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