He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize