i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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