come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
