he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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