you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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