if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
