shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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