Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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