Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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