please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
