My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize