i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
