I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
