Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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