If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
