She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
