so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
