i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize
