are you so shy because you have an std?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
