I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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