True but thats because hes a fetus.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
