On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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