he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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