i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
