Your face is a jimmy john
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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