We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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