just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
