My nipple is on Facebook.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
