in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
nutella sex= disaster
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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