I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
