I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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