Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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