Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
