I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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