I want to stick my p in your. b.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
