I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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