remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Randomize
