We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I understand Curling. That high.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize