ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
