please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
