hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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