Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
