I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
