You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
